it's a rae thing...u'll never understand..

dont go taboo

2009-11-25T11:43:00.002+08:00

When i was 16,
i was having a whale of a time.
enjoying school, having tons of friends, being in love,
dancing, partying,
just having fun and taking in my time as a teenager.

When they were 16,
they had to stop school, friends left them, love became tough,
they had to give up their dreams, and stop playing around.
they had to grow up from teenager, to adult.
because.. they were 16 and Pregnant

ive been having my holidays, so i caught up with some reality shows id' missed.
one of them was '16 and pregnant'
it was REALLY eye opening.

im your average girl.
i do want to have a nice, loving future ahead.
i want the perfect(in my eyes) husband,
i want a beautiful home,
and of course adorable, obedient kids.

and sometimes we all think 'how hard can that be'
here, i say : go and watch this MTV series

IT IS FAR FROM EASY.
omgawd, its crazy whacked hard.
if you think youve got it going tough now,
just see these 6 power-packed teen-mums do their stuff.

out of the 6 mums,
only 1 gave up her child for (semi-open)adoption.
just watching her struggle to let her daughter go, hurt me so bad.
it was the best thing to do,
but good things, sometimes dont come easy.

p.s: all 6 mums ARE 16. so, wow. okay.

for those of you who dont want to miss it:
http://www.mtv.com/shows/16_and_pregnant/season_1/series.jhtml

btw, this ISNT promoting/glamorizing teenage pregnancy, etc
its merely an awareness program to (scare) and warn you kids out there;

xoxo,R

quick one

2009-11-20T02:32:00.002+08:00

oh so many people are asking me to update my blog.
i have suddenly lost my touch in managing this.
but here i am, repenting and updating it now.

i initially wanted to update you guys on whats happening with me lately,
but maybe i'll do that tomorrow.

i was just browsing through facebook,
and happened to hop to someones' profile.
just looking through it, makes me think, alot.

talking about thinking,
ive been thinking alot lately.

good? yes no? i guess, to a certain extent.

on a brighter note,
ive been extremely blessed lately,
got myself some new toys!
1) acer aspire one (pretty pink)
2) iTouch (2gen though)
3) sony cyber shot

and of course, have had more quality time with my favourite person on earth hahaha
best of all, flying to tokyo in a week :)

i cannot thank god enough for being so good and faithful to me,
its about time i spread the looooove <3

chill people, cause life is good,
keep moving, but live through every moment consciously.
im living through my valley, happy, now.

cause as what ive learnt today,
dont dodge the rain,
dance in it :)

xoxo,R

-

2009-11-05T00:11:00.001+08:00

am feeling under the pressure.

i blacked out earlier on.

i cant remember what happened.

i just want to move on.

xoxo,R

2:40am gah

2009-10-26T02:38:00.002+08:00

just completed yet another music report, finally.
this ones' dued on tuesday.
am gonna watch an Opera this weds night,
and write another report which is dued on friday.

oh and there are the never ending presentations,
1) pop art
2) GP Telemann
what nots..

wanna get all this over and done with.
exams are 2 weeks away,
and i havent studied enough, seriously.

on a brighter note,
yay 27nov tokyo with my favouritest person!

off to bed;
xoxo,R

aww

2009-10-22T18:38:00.003+08:00

i secretly love my school cause :

seriously, how many school actually give their students 'pre-assessment packs' ?!
as tough as the exams, projects and presentations might be,
i think my schools' sure doing its part to keep us up-beat.

(the pre-assessment packs remind me of what cg does)
(sometimes i secretly think my Head Of Department is from cityharvest,
cause he talks about messages that pst preaches) hahahahah

whatever it is,
PTL cause he even uses my teachers and schoolmates to bless me.

xoxo,R

system overloading

2009-10-19T08:56:00.002+08:00

for my faithful readers,
who have instant message me so many times to update this :

omgosh, i have tonsa work to complete.
and once i finish the pile, a new stack comes in.

going for another concert tonight for my music report.
have got 3 group presentations,
a theater performance report,
tonsa of test in the following weeks,
and (wow) i cant even remember the rest.

p.s: but i love school, really. haha and all its whackyness;

so yeah, sorry i havent been as faithful to updating this,
as you all have been to reading it,
i shall repent during my holidays ( in late november)

*excited squels*
on a brighter note, be flying on the 27th of nov to korea/japan till 6 dec!
and guess whos' coming along ;)

xoxo,R

-

2009-10-05T23:49:00.002+08:00

i just went to make new spectacles!

currently rushing through our presentation project with sheryl,
tell you, we work super fast! hahahahaha

omg i missed the bbq,
besides the drinking and staying out,
i heard hid got a lapdance
and coughcough hahahaahah

kay im flying off to prepare work for my tutoring kid tmr!

xoxo,R

just wondering

2009-10-05T16:28:00.003+08:00

was by the couch today just reflecting on the past weeks.
oh i felt so loved.

then i thought;
how DO you define Love?

everyones looking for this something,
this emotion to link it to words,
the indescribable sensation of flushed, overwhelming passion-
they call it Love

But how'd you know its Love,
when 'love' always seems to change in our world
what do i mean?

remember your 1st crush,
how youd giggle, feel all tingly when he walked by
you said it was Love

then remember that 1st boyfriend (who wasnt your 1st crush),
how youd feel ontop of the world whens hes by your side,
you said it was Love

and remember this one time after you had broken up,
when this other guy stood by your through your broken hearted-ness,
you again said it was Love

i think by now the word 'LOVE'
has probably the most definations and examples.

oh and many does it have.

to a drug addict, his drug is Love
to a boy, his 1st toy truck is Love
yknow what i mean

if i ended now, would it be weird
i just suddenly remembered about a project i have to do (hahaha)

sometimes, you dont FIND love,
cause Love takes effort,
its an action taken purposely.
so, you just have to create it.

dont tell me you dont know how to Love,
maybe you just dont know how to Think.

xoxo,R

where do i begin

2009-10-05T16:09:00.002+08:00

so much has happened,
im just left wondering whats more to come.
its october, omgoodness

i cant believe im turning 19 in 3 months (by year)
still remember when i just got to say im a teenager,
but not any more, not soon.

OH.
my laptop crashed on me,
so im using a pc now.
note to self: (shouldve listened to irwin and NOT get a vaio laptop last year)
im gonna get a mac i think?

life is so unreal,
cant believe time flies so quickly.

and people have not been able to recognise me recently, why?
apparently, i look different? (as said)

xoxo,R

TIED

2009-09-29T18:43:00.002+08:00

its like i've got so many things to do;

this weeks' piled with school, work, projects, tutoring, etc.
im getting a little tired.

a part of me wants to get to business,
yet another wants to just drop everything and run to my comfort.

what an irresponsible coward, aye?

i can do this,
go go go;

p.s: on another note, ive been extremely bad tempered out of the late.
i think my nerves are raw and anything triggers it.
thank you, I, for just being there, and letting my mood pass you by.
#208 reason why i love you : you love me despite my flaws.

xoxo,R

gosh

2009-09-29T03:21:00.001+08:00

insomnia much, recently.

xoxo,R

FAME

2009-09-29T01:46:00.002+08:00

caught Fame with cg;

the movie was good,
i liked it.

on the other hand,
kinda sucks to sit through a movie,
about what your life couldve been about,
or rather, what your life used to be about.

it was tear-jerking.

i wish things didnt have to happen on me,
but ive learnt to shove it back and suck it up.
leave it behind and change directions when needed.

if i cant be on-stage,
i'll be happy just being behind , i guess.

then again,
what choice do i have, right?

xoxo,R

only cause

2009-09-25T22:25:00.002+08:00

-I JUST TYPED A WHOLE LONG POST,
and i just deleted it.

cant stand how emotional i can be, pfft.

im having one of those moments,
where your heart feels funny,
it almost feels like its broken,
but its not (cause nothings going wrong)

but y know.

just that heart-wrenching,
emotions-bearing,
thingy thing.

yknow?

xoxo,R

omg-i-can-sew!

2009-09-25T01:53:00.005+08:00

hahah
ignore the bimbotic statement above,
it was just to catch your attention.

i CAN sew,
and so can everyone else.
i honestly think monkeys can too.

BUT,
i just started sewing up random pieces of cloth.
and tadah! i made a few dresses.

talk about saving money.
i can now finally cure my addiction for retail therapy
cause ive got my own boutique in my room hahahaha

#1 I dont have to tiresomely walk in and out of shops to find what i want.
#2 I dont have to worry about clothes being too small or big.
#3 I dont have to crack my head to look for a design.

cause,
i get to design whatever i want, in whatever size i fit, and feel the satisfaction of walking around in your own made clothe!
The beauty of D-I-Y

i'll post up one of the 1st simple dresses i made:

This one is made from a really silky and comfy material,
it can be worn with the frill behind:

OR with the frill in the front! :

ignore the messy room!

just an hour ago,
i made another dress, which pictures will be posted up tomorrow :)

oh i forgot to say how i got this random LOAD of materials.

believe it or not,
i found a whole paperbag of design cloths while packing my grandmas' house!
like untouched, unused, longlonglong meters of cloths!
of course i had the permission to take em,
before madly snipping and sewing away hahah

PTL for beautiful finds as such.

-sings
im rachel,
the handy dandy - snippy snappity - sewing sewish - wear my own art - girl!

save the world,
wear your own art!

edit // OMG ITS 320 and i still cant sleep;
xoxo,R

meet me over by the tumblr

2009-09-21T04:47:00.003+08:00

yep you saw right,
im now going Tumblr!

and yes, the bangs!
gotta get some getting used to aye?

well, go on, you know you want to check it out

WWW.I-INSPIRE.TUMBLR.COM

p.s:
here is the artist behind my bangs.
the man who cut my fringe,
whom my money was of no value to,
that he had to cut my eye to pay the price.[accident] hahahah

my ~~MONSTER~~ lovely irwin <3

xoxo,R

oh boyfriend,

2009-09-20T15:48:00.002+08:00

irwin snipped my fringe.
all off.
now ive got bangs,
which he insists is 'OMG SO PRETTY'

but i think i look funny.

oh, while working on his masterpiece (snipping my fringe)
his skills became too professional for me,
that it cut my eyelid too.

now ive got a red-cut, alittle swollen left eye
and No fringe to cover it since bangs go above my eyes

i still love you.

hahahah :)

xoxo,R

watch this!

2009-09-19T12:37:00.000+08:00

Oh, The Temptation from Steve V on Vimeo.

so cute!

xoxo,R

The Secret of Love

2009-09-19T10:58:00.005+08:00

it was 10th september,
irwin told me he was taking pictures of the moon.
i remember instantly jumping off my bed and running towards the windows.
i wanted to see if i could see the moon from Lakeside,
the very one he was looking at over in Compassvale.
and true enough there it was, hanging so brightly.

took out my sony alpha
and did a series of photographs of it.

heres' one of them, 'moon-streaked heart':

The Secret of Love?
You cant give, unless you've received.

Read that again;
Before Love is anything else, Love is Patient.

have we been patient enough recently?
perhaps its time we are more aware of our character.

cheers mates

xoxo,R

hmmm-mmm

2009-09-18T01:28:00.000+08:00

i would love to sit by the sea,
all night long,
just enjoying the breeze and your company.

xoxo,R

fresh

2009-09-17T00:46:00.002+08:00

Overnight PM was surely an incredible one,
but being the stubborn person i am,
i demanded more, i wanted more.

Sat by some stone seats at cityhall,
and waited. and waited. and waited.

5 minutes.
15 minutes.
25 minutes.
still nothing.

i got impatient.
don't we all get angry and puffed up when things don't come when we want them to.

but still,
he showed himself strong and good.

at 35 minutes,
I got what i wanted,
I got what i needed,
and I got more than expected.

i stood, amazed.
laughed at myself for being so foolish,
how could i have even thought that he wouldnt appear?
even though it was 4 in the morning.

oh Youre so good to me :)

xoxo,R

gosh

2009-09-13T14:18:00.003+08:00

over at +20Bulbs now
i had so many things on my mind this morning,
i totally forgot about my price-chart.
its this list of prices of all the things in this boutique.
and i cant remember all the prices, so im doooomed.

all the designer polos are ranging from 105bucks to 398bucks.
and theyre all so different,
i hope no one eyes them today.
lest i get mixed up with the prices and all hell breaks loose.

microecons exam tomorrow.
-screams

Things to look forward to this week :
1) Tuesday: shopping trip with Flea-buddies- fels, maddy, stace, meltay!
2) Tuesday: overnight PM!
3) Thursday: Childrens Church Big Day #1 and CG
4) Saturday: svc
5) Sunday: FLEA with babes!

and of course alot of time in-between with my favourite person on earth! hahah :)

i get so anxious and stressed out sometimes,
but i remember all the awesome things,
and im left with nothing to say but :
Life Is Beautiful!

xoxo,R

-

2009-09-11T02:49:00.003+08:00

i hurt.
im only human.

dont we all wish we were Lavishly Loved?
extravagantly, without lack.

ptl for His unconditional love,
and ptl for an awesome bf.

xoxo,r

seeing three?

2009-09-09T11:47:00.002+08:00

Today is 09-09-09!

the date that people have been counting down to,
i know a handful of people whose weddings are today.
and even more who have planned dates, and surprises.

whats with 090909?

i guess it just looks good?

was just reading up,
the famous China's Summer Olympics started at 8pm on 080808.
cause 8 is as auspicious number.
8 in chinese 'Ba' sounds like 'Fa' which means wealth.
did you know they had 090909 2nd on their list?
cause 9 in chinese 'Jiu', has the same pronounciation as another word, Long.
Long as in Longevity.

so 9?
auspicious?
i dont know.

Heres MY take.
i like 090909,
because its a special day.
guess why? :)

clue : <3

p.s: yet another one irwin :)

xoxo,R

take me home

2009-09-07T23:57:00.002+08:00

initially i wrote a long story here.
but nearing the end,
i highlighted everything and deleted it.

ive just one thing to say,
im scared, so please take me home now :(

xoxo,R

if i could

2009-09-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

i would like to fly,
somewhere over the seas.
just for a bit.

xoxo,R

<3

2009-09-06T11:26:00.002+08:00

got home yesterday around 12 midnight,
irwin called,
and we talked and talked,
the 1st time i checked it was 12.30am.
the next thing i knew it was already 5 am,
and the buses had already started operating!
omgosh, time flies like WHAO!

right now, im gonna fly off to work!
+20BULBS here i come;
you can check me out @ +20BULBS @ the Grand Cathay
(1st floor. corner boutique with really cool white grillings)
:)

xoxo,R

mad cute!

2009-08-26T21:07:00.003+08:00

she's only 2!
Children are the future of tomorrow!

xoxo,R

thought-bubbles

2009-08-26T18:38:00.002+08:00

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
finally tuesdays' over (its wednesday today)
done with the nerve-wrecking oral-comm presentation
and submitted the concert report.

2 loads off my shoulders!
now if i can just focus on all the tests coming next week.

watched 'District 9' with Dearest
honestly i found myself laughing way too much than i should
(since no one else in the theater except irwin was laughing with me.)

anyway, ive got a few changes coming up!
am thinking of revamping this ol-blog-o-mine
gonna move to a more vlog concept maybe.
V-Logs sound more interective hahah

jamming and cellgroup tomorrow!
and then school, shopping with irwin @town, and night with fels on friday!

TIME IS ZOOOOMING WAY TOO FAST!
yet another weeek is ending.

okay im off to study! :}

xoxo,R

-

2009-08-24T23:02:00.002+08:00

insecurities, overtaking.
overwhelming.
is it just the workload that's taking its toll?

she's losing it.
the signs are unclear.
the answers are fogged.
she's tired and weary,
though she wants to keep on keeping on.

she needs some support.
but no,
none,
no one.
what now?

run?
hide?
go back into that vicious cycle?

save her.
now.
you, need, to.

YOU , need to.
dont disappear when you think you should.
its not the time,
not this time.

these dreams,
these thoughts,
they're out of control.

she needs to know,
youre still there.

xoxo,R

<3

2009-08-24T00:24:00.003+08:00

thankgod for my boyfriend whose my bestfriend.
who finishes my sentences,
and knows whats on my mind.
who endures my temper and celebrates my victories.
whom i love so very much!
:)

p.s: i know ive been on the (mood)swings lately,
thankyou for being so so so understanding all the time, I!

ah, im truly blessed.

xoxo,R

what a ride!

2009-08-22T12:24:00.002+08:00

is it just me,
or has life been moving way too fast lately?
its like the 6th week of school already and deadlines/exams are just a week away.
i thought i'd just started school.
oh wow.

and omg! its almost september.
i've havent had a slowed-down moment since July,
and bam! 2 months flying past.

yesterday though,
had a wonderful (almost full day) spending some quality(hahaha) time with my dearest irwin.
he took me to a place where we spent more than an hour 25 floors above the ground,
with a pretty breathtaking view of the city.
i liked it.
its been a while since things slowed-down for a while.

;

25 floors above the ground

i feel on top of the world (not so, but still)
looking down on this land,
with tiny people rushing to and fro,
across traffic lights and pavements.

25 floors above the ground

i wonder if they know that time is passing.
that soon 10 years would be over and still theyre in the same movements of life,
thinking theyve achieved, when its only a rat-race out there.
i wonder if they know that theyre running the wrong race.
or should i say, right race wrong target?

25 floors above the busy ground.

i think about their children,
are they being left home alone?
and even if their not, are they in far contact of their busy parents.

its already 8 at night.
and still human-traffic is heavy.
briefcases, handbags, heels and suits.
are they on their way home or to yet-another business meeting with a client at the nearby pub?
i see people checking their watches and fiddling with their blackberries.
oh busy busy busy.

25 floors above the ground

i remind myself about things i should never do in the future.
how i wont let the busy-ness of life take over me.
how i wont want to be like One Of Them..

and then BAM.
i realize that even now,
i already am...

25 floors down from where i am,
the ground catches my tears.

;

i dont want to write this book of me, alone.
let me be the pen,
i want You to be the author.

xoxo,R

Garden for you?

2009-08-02T20:08:00.001+08:00

There were 2 men,
both new to the estate.
they each had just moved into their new houses, which had a front lawn each.

say they were Arthur and Travis.
they lived just across the street to one another.
ordinary men with ordinary lives.
one day Arthur and Travis had a small conversation over what they would do with their front lawns.
they both decided, it'd be a pleasant surprise for their wives if they had done up a beautiful garden.

so on the 1st day they got themselves seeds,
and started blue-mapping out which plant would go where on their lawns.
they both had excellent drafts of how their garden would turn out.
they planted the seeds.
for a week, both Arthur and Travis watered the seeds.

as the 2nd week approached,
Arthur realised that his seeds werent growing into seedlings,
while across the street he saw Travis' ones doing just fine.
little stems protruding out from the ground.
he figured something was wrong.

he watered it more often and finally 2 out of the 10 plants he had started to show.
Arthur felt so encouraged he spent the following weeks just watering that 2 plants,
while only occasionally watering the rest.
he loved that 2 plants, and they grew as time passed to become beautiful flowers.
weeds had started to grow among the other plants,
but seeing that from the start they weren't doing well,
Arthur decided not to bother bout them.

while Arthur's 2 plants had already grown into flowers,
Travis' ones were all only stems and buds.
Arthur had a garden of half grown plants,
filled with weeds and only 2 kinds of flowers at the very corner.
Travis on the other hand had a garden of stems and buds, but no flowers.

Arthur would mock him,
saying how he had no flowers yet.
and how beautiful his 2 flowers were.

the story goes on,
and we all know that when the season came,
Travis' garden of stems and buds finally bloomed,
and it transformed into a beautiful garden of many flowers.
and Arthur's?
he only had 2 flowers and a whole garden of unwatered, unloved plants with weeds.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

whats a garden when its uncared for?
with weeds growing all around,
even though there are 2 flowers,
but overall, look at it, its not a garden at all.

we have our own gardens in life,
and the seeds being the different aspects.
we start of striving to excel in it all.
after all, thats what we're called to do.
but setbacks come and we start to focus on only the aspects which we thrive in.
we forget about the rest.

you know like plants,
as long as you water it consistantly,
it will absorb.
whether or not it grows out the next day,
doesnt matter because its IN the process of growing.
its being fed.

when we put effort in something,
the results we want might not appear immediately,
or even when we expect it to,
but surely if you feed it,
its IN the process of BECOMING a success.

what happens to plants when you stop watering it?
it starts to wilt and die,
and weeds start to grow if its uncared for.
even if you were to water it, it's already in the process of dying.
you would have to feed it nutrients and extract the weeds.
it takes more effort.

so if theres something you've stopped,
and you want to pick it back up,
you cant just continue from the bad ending.
you've to go back to the point of disobedience,
extract the unwanted attitudes and results,
and put in more effort to turn things around and continue from a fresh start.

building something on bad grounds,
only calls for a disaster.

then you might say,
how can we do well in every single thing?
honestly, why not?

there will be things youre better at...
but how bout being better at everything,
and best at some?

after all, we're meant to be the best we can,
at what we set our hearts to do, right?

i'd like to excel more. :)

xoxo,R

Contrast

2009-08-01T09:49:00.004+08:00

Have you ever felt like youre living a Life of Contrast?

Sometimes, you know you should be doing 'the right thing',
but when youre 'in', you just cant get out.
yknow.

you feel so bad when you hear the things being said about the others,
but why do you still laugh?
when can you make a stand for them?

the people whom you hold so closely in your heart,
versus the ones whom your heart is vulnerable to giving in to.

all for what?
for the sake of sociability.
though its tough to admit to your weaknesses.
the 1st step to reversing the cycle is to find the root of it.

--thinks.

i know what i want this birthday,
my wishes for the year ahead.
i want to have more control over myself.
what my heart feels, let not my actions contradict it.
what my mind knows is right, let not my words speak against it.
what my eyes see and my ears hear, let not my soul be influenced.

would'nt you rather live a couple of years without the high society,
than to live all your life in regret for not following what you knew was right?

then again,
if you could turn the tables around and be in control of the situation.
get everyone together.
wouldnt that be just great?
hmm.
i know just the Guy who can do that,
yknow turn the tables around, with just one snap of the fingers... ;)

xoxo,R

# 57

2009-07-26T22:43:00.001+08:00

i thank god for a boyfriend who prays with me over the phone :)

xoxo,R

dork? NO. its called SMART.

2009-07-26T10:22:00.003+08:00

im actually thinking of going to the national library to read up on some work.
but,
omgosh wait. what am i thinking.
the internets much faster.
okay think i'll go to starbucks grab the usual chocolate cream chip and start on my projects!

better done earlier than later right?
leave some room for error and adjustments.

head and not the tail.
head and not the tail.
above and not beneathe.
gogogogogo!

xoxo,R

-

2009-07-24T20:13:00.000+08:00

i dropped 4kgs in a week.
idk how.
must be the medications.

cant wait to get well.
coughing like mad in the trains, malls and school aint very pleasing indeed.
i think i need consistent rest,
and not once in a while.

weekends are here,
and everyones going to Del Mar to party,
but ive to stay home to recover. boo-to-the-core.
supposedly hang with the mates today at esplanade,
but after half an hour at hmv, i couldnt take it already, uber faint so i went home.
the train ride home was like mega fast,
considering i dropped dead on the seat and snoozed all the way to lakeside.

hold on need to go puke;

** kay back.

ugh i think im having stomach flu.
or food poisoning for that matters.
what i eat aint staying in my tummy for too long(or shall i say barely staying in there)

oh and i coughed blood the other day, gross to the max.

on a brighter note,
tomorrows saturday and i get to look forward to svc!

xoxo,R

-

2009-07-23T16:17:00.000+08:00

not sure what to expect.
feeling weak and fuzzy.

thank god theres no school on thursdays.
i slept till 3pm today.

xoxo,R

back2school

2009-07-21T20:29:00.002+08:00

schools in,

and im loving it!

p.s: you should see the amount of handouts/notes they give, and its only the 2nd day!
and omg the projects and presentations' already piling up!

xoxo,R

love, much?

2009-07-18T11:42:00.003+08:00

everyone can say 'I Love'
but thats not the case, is it?

its not a matter of whether you do or not,
its a matter of how much.

how much are you willing to go,
how much are you willing to do,
how much are you willing to sacrifice,
to present as a physical proof of your love.

dont they say, that words are cheap?
sliding off your mouth like water running from a tap?

if you love, you wont just speak it.
if you love, people will know,
cause they'll see it, from your actions.

teach me to Love with all i am, with all i have.

xoxo,R

2009-07-18T10:51:00.001+08:00

it hurtssssssssssss :{
my throat;

and my heart.

xoxo,R

its getting hot in here!

2009-07-16T10:19:00.002+08:00

sucking on my Lozenges now,
have been down with the fever for the pass 2 or 3 days.
went to the docs yesterday after the stubborn 39.3 deg wont go down,
even after taking panadol and all.

temperature has stagnated at 38.8 deg for the last 6 hours.
prayfully it'll drop to 37 in time for cell tonight.

go away fever!
go away cough!
go away sniffles!
go away inflammation!
go away sickness!

xoxo,R

-

2009-07-14T23:18:00.002+08:00

i miss!

xoxo,R

Remix it!

2009-07-10T13:52:00.003+08:00

reading up about Joshua and Caleb on the net now.

really really want this :

the pink message bible, remix!
think its been more than a year that ive wanted to get it;

xoxo,R

Real Hollywood Drama

2009-07-10T10:54:00.004+08:00

was watching Situation Critical on National Geographic;
'The North Hollywook Shootout'

You can read about it here : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Hollywood_shootout

i squirmed and pinched my pillow just watching the reenactment of the incident,
it was simply spine-curling.
you can almost feel the same bullets piercing through your body just watching it get fired out on the television.

even the LAPD was no match to this 2 gun-man,
who had just robbed The Bank of America.
it was a fire-out gun match between the 2 man, and over 50 LAPD officers.

with 10 officers and 7 civilians injured with bullets through their body,
they sent in the SWAT team.
a few rounds of firing was exchanged before the drama ended,
with both robbers getting gunned down.

Surprising thing was,
one of the gunman Larry Eugene Phillip's gun had suddenly got jammed,
giving the LAPD and SWAT an advantage to take him down.
Coincident?
i think not;
He had been firing for 44 mins with a bullet at every 2 seconds.
and now, at this crucial point, his gun gets jammed.
oh, God is the best scriptwriter everrrrr hahah!

One of the LAPD officers who was the most injured,
and whom everyone believed to never have came out of that incident alive gave his recount, and said this:

'9 rounds of firing, a total of 1100 ammunition bullets,
and only the robbers die?' ....
'we only had hand guns and the robbers had specialised automatic rifles, with uncommon bullets that could pierce through our steel-plated police cars, and even into our bullet-proof vest, as it was built only to withstand normal handgun bullets.'

'i was shot at the most vital places, yet here i am today'
'i never let anyone say that i am Lucky for coming out of this alive'
'i never let that comment pass'
'Luck is Vegas, Luck is a Horse-shoe.
This is a work of God's hand stroking over the whole situation'
'praise the Lord!'

instant relieve and a loud 'Amen' rings in my head.

xoxo,R

Jon and Kate plus 8

2009-07-09T11:08:00.008+08:00

tuned into cable teevo's Travel and Living;
caught 'Kate and Jon plus 8'
this lovely couple:

have beautiful twin girls :

and, Sixtuplets:

yes! thats a family of TEN!
wow. just watching this reality teevo series is so,
i-cant-even-put-it-into-words!

Mummy's random phrases to her kiddies:
'Babies dont go in the washing machine!'
'colin's being a man, and doing the laundry'
'honey! (to her husband) their shoes dont match!'
'if you dont hold on to the rope, youre not going to get chocolates!'
'last one to sit at the dining table, gets no ice cream for dessert'

when this show was filmed, the twins were only 6.
and the sextuplets were 3.
it was such a joyful bunch of mess hahaha

i was so amused by them, i did some searches on google.
reading up on how they pulled through everyday was pretty inspiriing.
but unfortunately, and what a heartbreak, theyre said to be in way of getting a divorce.

i wonder how the kids are going to react,
and most importantly, how are they going to grow up wholesomely,
without mummy and daddy being in the same room as them.

xoxo,R

princess!

2009-07-08T11:53:00.002+08:00

oh no!
princess (my laptop) wont charge, and idk why!

shes down to her last 14% of battery life,
and i'll rush down to service her later at Funan.
ohmygosh;

xoxo,R

more;

2009-07-07T22:47:00.002+08:00

I had a long walk home tonight.
i love long walks.
especially when its breezy and the moon is full.

i did alot of thinking too,
alot of rationalising with myself.
i love me-time.

oh, its like the 1st week of july now!
like how fast is that.
in a little less than a months time,
i'll be officially 18.
wow, i kinda stopped believing im growing in years since i was 16.

connectgroup dinner tomorrow,
cell on thursday,
jamming on friday,
service and then night cycling on saturday,
and sunday with <3.

pictures soon!

xoxo,R
p.s: hello love, i know youll be reading this, so heres a little shout out specially for you <3

ooo!

2009-07-06T15:44:00.002+08:00

tonsa pictures to post,
but kinda short on time now,
so if youd like to see them,
just head on over to facebook!

i had so much fun last night;
night cycling + dearest Irwin + all that rain = THE BOMBBBBBB!
oh, we finally caught Hannah Montana the movie too (after so much procastination haha)

saturdays decentralized zone meeting was a blast!
dance performance went well,
and really, not possible with our own effort.
but with Him all things are possible.

i learnt alot throughout the week,
and saturdays' sermon, really summed it all up.

hopefully in the years to come,
i'll look back and say that,
'This was the message that made a turning point in my life'

i want to use my talents,
for the benefit of others.
i want to use my talents,
to tap into the 4th dimension.
i want to use my talents,
to bring joy to The One, who gave them to me.

Because He made me dance,
when i do,
i feel His pleasure.

xoxo,R

quick one!

2009-07-01T16:58:00.002+08:00

hahah thats some morning pillow fight fun for you.

well, connect group dinner tonight at that Japanese place!
Dance at SMU;
Bevans helping us out :)

so i gotta fly,
more updates tonight!

xoxo,R

whoa

2009-07-01T10:24:00.000+08:00

Im off to fetch my lil brother from his schools' sick bay.
cause he's having a fever.

whys everyone sick

xoxo,R

news?

2009-06-30T11:50:00.003+08:00

i like subscribing to Channel News Asia's text messaging updates.
but receiving two consecutive bad news arent too encouraging at all.

: 6 killed, 50 injured, as 2 rail tankers filled with gas exploded after a derialment in the northerb Italian city of Viareggio, causing 2 buildings to collapse ( 11:37am )

: Yemenia Air Airbus A330-220, which took off from Paris with 147 people on-board, disappears between Yemen and Comoros ( 11:51am )

another explosion,
another missing plane?

whats around the corner on your street?
i wonder whats on mine..

xoxo,R

omg

2009-06-30T10:19:00.002+08:00

ah! :(
today i woke up feeling so happy and carefree,
and suddenly i received a text saying my dearest is in an ambulance.
omgoshhhhhh

irwin, you make my heart drop sometimes.
you'll be fine. yes youll be better than fine.

no more H1N1, be gone!

xoxo,R
p.s; E1R1 E1R1 E1R1!

a new one!

2009-06-29T14:03:00.004+08:00

Im so happy!

Ive Got Talent performance went well,
really above my expectations.
all i can say is this can all only happen by Gods grace.

Had my 1st service with N329!
and am very excited for cg this thurs;
its like a new adventure,
with many of the people whom i hold close to my heart!
like tiffany said : Venture to Higher Grounds!

Had a really good dinner last night @ chompchomp with my dearest Irwin.
good food + even better company = a very very satisfied Rachel.

and im gonna meet May now,
taking her to my favourite western food hangout,
Newyork Newyork!

ah im starting to see an eating + good company trend hahahah

oh and this morning while travelling home,
i had a very good time soaking up the presence,
and talking about things with my One and Only.

and amazingly, while thinking of certain people,
i actually bumped into them on the way!
coincidence? nah its God-Incident!
i met Leonard (leong) at woodlands, and then Brian at lakeside!
blessed-texted them after hahaha

which reminds me,
it always feels great to be flowing and moving in the path that He's planned for you.

ah, Perfect Love,
satisfies my thirsting and yearning soul.
:)

xoxo,R

how can this be

2009-06-27T02:07:00.001+08:00

ive misplaced my performance outfit.
its no where to be found
ive traced my steps and im 1001% sure that i had brought it back.

how can this be.

need to stop being so careless.

the hunt continues.
please please come out wherever you are!
:(

xoxo,R

can you smell that?

2009-06-25T10:46:00.002+08:00

its the scent of school approaching.

Logged onto Studentnet.
and checked out my time table.
ive got school everyday this sem!
nooo.
9am - 6pm daily except for thursdays (9am-12noon). oh-em-gee.
last years time table was so flexible. what happened. lol
i wonder how im gonna find time to complete the other Cross electives and modules.

ah, new class. new cliques.
going through the whole of motion of 'nah you guys go ahead, i needa go off'
either that or sitting there and smelling the (horrid) scent of sheesha.
and 1001 empty glasses of pure vodka(of course none of which ive drunk).
not cool.

praying that i'll get this sem over to the best that i can!

xoxo,R

oh;

2009-06-25T01:10:00.000+08:00

heart ache.

xoxo,R

oh is that a polar bear in my room?

2009-06-24T23:47:00.003+08:00

im feeling the rubber band effect:
the tension of a rubber band being pulled and stretched.
knowing it wont snap yet still on the verge.

my heads spinning;
havent caught more than 5 hours of sleep in the past few days.
havent been eating.
i might just as well be turning A.

dance for like hours straight.
conference meetings for the musical.
connecting here, connecting there.

oh, did i mention, i blacked out today for like 10 secs
i was walking and everything started getting blurry and i felt so light headed,
i just fell to the ground.
thankfully, even though i didnt control my falling, i landed pretty softly.
and we all know Whos hands caught me.

and i keep reminding myself,
no more Me, no more I, no more selfish desires.

i need to learn to stop yearning for recognition. seriously.

when i was young i'd run into my daddys arms,
calling out to him, and feeling so secure,
like nothing in this world could harm me.
;i need to learn to trust and feel that same security with Daddy.

xoxo,R

RP ftw

2009-06-24T09:53:00.003+08:00

barely had 2 hours of sleep,
and am now @ Republic Poly getting ready for dance.

the music is done, PTL!

mmkay! i'll get back when i get back hahahaha (not funny)

xoxo,R

dukeydukeydukey!

2009-06-24T03:48:00.003+08:00

oh-em-gee
its 350am and im so dead tired
but still im online.

waiting for hector to remix our dance music;
THANKS HECTOR for holding up the fort for us even at this hour!
yourock yourock yourock.

in the mean while,
just going through the songs and when to cut them, at what time and all.
its driving me nuts
im like totally dreading the songs already.

kay back to work!

xoxo,R

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU, Perfect Love

2009-06-22T11:59:00.002+08:00

Its not me at work.
and this feels incredibly amazing.

I find myself doing things,
and right after that split second,
i go : wow! DID I JUST DO THAT. i cant believe i just did that.

and i just smile to myself,
cause i know, I didnt do it.
HE did it.

PTL :}

xoxo,R

escape-tism.

2009-06-18T01:45:00.003+08:00

having late nights again.
over what?
over dance.

Freedom Escape-tism,
or merely cowardly running away?
either one.. it still works.

xoxo,R

pfft

2009-06-18T00:08:00.001+08:00

ah.
makes me feel so, angry?
looking at something.
officially not happy with facebook, for now. done.

update more tomorrow.

xoxo,R

! getting back!

2009-06-17T02:13:00.003+08:00

i know like my 3rd post in the last 2 hours.

but i just have to ask : GUESS WHAT IM DOING AT 215 AM IN THE MORNING NOW!

clue : it starts with a 'D' and ends with a 'ING'
hahhaa

im dancing!
choreographing a piece to Black Eyed Peas : Boom Boom Pow

im feeeling sooooooooo happy :)
kinda reminds me how dancing is like this portal.
when you enter it,
you just forget everything.
and just, dance till your hearts content.

oh i feel so good :)

xoxo,R

James Morrison

2009-06-17T01:10:00.002+08:00

You make it real for me
Mmmmm
There's so much craziness, surrounding me
There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe
When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me
You make it real for me

When I'm not sure of, my priorities
When I've lost site of, where I'm meant to be
Like holy water, washing over me
You make it real for me

And I'm running to you baby
You are the only one who saved me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

When my head is strong, but my heart is weak
I'm full of arrogance, and uncertainty
But I can find the words, you teach my heart to speak
You make it real for meee, yeaaa

And I'm running to you baby
Cause you are the only one who saved me
That's whyyy I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

Ohhh
Everybodies talking in words
I don't understand
You got to be the only one
Who knows just who I am
Your shinin in the distance
I hope I can make it through
Cause the only place
That I want to be
Is right back home with you

I guess there's so much more
I have to learn
But if you're here with me
I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere,
Somewhere I can learn
You make it real for me

And I'm running to you baby
Cause you are the only one who saved me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

You make it real for me

and i'll be still.

xoxo,R

gone.

2009-06-17T00:40:00.003+08:00

cant help but to feeel so ______. you name it.

oh please let me learn to not bother.
oh please let me learn to let it go.
things that are superficial.
oh please i hate this feeling of, not being able to trust.

please, i dont want to fail again.

but whatever it is,
not for me.
not for me.

and as ive chanted for the whole day :
its for you, daddy.
its for you.
whether i make it through smoothly, or not.
whether it turns out good.
as long as you lead and i follow.

please let me learn to STOP FOLLOWING MY DECISIONS,
and learn to rely FULLY and SOLELY on youuuuuu.

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE :(

xoxo,R

more!

2009-06-16T00:33:00.005+08:00

Some Peekchures from the Weekends:

this was on saturday;

and this was on Sunday;
@ Johor B. during the jalanjalan-makanmakan trip!
had so much fun!

OH! we played the bumpercars. gosh what a fly-off-your-seat experience

and of course, had some time off with <3
Oh, this picture taken a while ago, is totally candid.
i think its so cool, same pose all; hahahaha

and then met up with the bffs(jyings fels mels) today,
shopped, had sushi dinner, and supported calvin at his Ben and Jerrys' auds.
more shopping and heading down to NAFA tomorrow with mels!
and probably chompchompbbqstingray dinner with le en (mmmmmmm drools)

so till more of the pictures come..

xoxo,R

peekchures!

2009-06-13T11:26:00.002+08:00

Cant help but to spend my lovely week with these people:

Munchies.

sheryl during SOS
---------------------------------------------
Hendersons wave picnic!

little eyes haha

Till ive got time to upload more pictures;

xoxo,R
p.s: cant wait for ChompChomp trip with irwiiiiin tomorrow,
oh i can already taste the bbq stingray and chickenwings -drools.
(such a food junkie, tsktsk) ;)

looking back.

2009-06-13T01:20:00.002+08:00

Oh, talk about timing and seasons.
received a few phone calls and texts in the past 5 days;
all regarding break ups and relationship problems.
(yes, all seperate issues and situations)

As funny (or not) as it sounds,
when people get me for advise or simply just to listen them out,
they all come during the same period.

i call it the 'breakup season'

Occasionally, i feel a tinge of sadness,
not only for their plight of situation,
but also cause ive been there, once or twice.
and i know exactly how it feels.
exact to the very point.

Seeing them cry and hearing their stories,
really breaks my heart.

which reminds me of how fragile Love is,
No, let me correct that.
how fragile Love is to Man.

Love was never meant to be weak and fragile,
never meant to be filled with envy, frustration, jealousy, and what not.
the state of how it seems to be now,
can be only faulted at how its been mutated by, none other than Man, himself.

Funny dont you think?
Such a beautiful thing as Love,
given to Man,
but yet destroyed by the very owner.

its like a young child crying out for a toy,
and his parents sacrifices a month of wages just to get this very exclusive toy.
and the moment this child receives it,
he smashes it and poof,
gone.

who has to gain?
not the child, since his toy is broken.
not the parents, as theyve sacrificed.
No one gains in this situation.

Ive only heard it too many times to say that Man is simply (ridiculously) blind.
they blame The One who gave them Love in the 1st place,
for the downturn in their relationships.
(He doesnt gain anything from your pain)

When it comes to relationships,
i came up with this theory:
Right Love knows its wrongs.
while,
Wrong Love thinks its right.

what do i mean?
Right Love accepts that here on earth, nothing is perfect.
Right Love acknowledges its faults, and works to correct them.
Right Love knows its built to be slightly less than Perfect.

Wrong Love refuses to accept weaknesses or changes.
Wrong Love believes its always right, in whatever the situation is.
Wrong Love thinks its Perfect.

Nothing is perfect.
only Perfect Love is perfect.
only Daddys' love is perfect.
Mans' are the distorted image of it.

i dont know where this post is leading,
but im just writing as the thoughts flow through my head to my fingers

oh yes back to the point.
seeing them so lost and alone reminds me..

if one can be in such a desperation without the presence of just another fellow human being,
what more without the presence of Daddy.

i never want to be in a state where ive lost You,
and going back to feel close with You seems so so hard.
i never want to leave Your presence,
never want to loose Your touch.

i dont want to be complacent.
Hold me close,
never never never let me go..

xoxo,R

By Far

2009-06-10T13:54:00.004+08:00

This is by far my favourite beer commercial.
i never fail to laugh at it every time it comes on;

i think the best commercials on the teevo are the ones promoting Beer berverages;
theyve the funniest, entertaining and most significant ones.

xoxo,R

oh lookie at the date!

2009-06-09T23:18:00.005+08:00

One of the best feelings in the world,
is to come home from a tiring day,
log into your Email and getting a surprise as such:
(click to enlarge to see those small blue print words)

yourockmyworld,i!

i have a blessed life,
cause youre a blessing to me :)

xoxo,R

-

2009-06-09T03:00:00.000+08:00

omgosh!
its 3am and i still cant get to sleep!
(i have to be awake at 530)

madness, lah!

xoxo,R

short one!

2009-06-09T00:26:00.002+08:00

just 2 pictures till i have the time to update again! :)

(with his speckies!)

tmrs all planned out!
530 - Morning wake up calls
630 - fels jyings @ boonlay station
7 - Morning P.M
815 - breakfast with the Westies
1130 - meetup with Weers-so-(super)-fly!
130 - meet up with cg
2-6 - Encounter!
615 - dinner with The Usuals
9 - Meeting with Head

Looking forward!

xoxo,R

stay tuned cause....

2009-06-03T16:02:00.002+08:00

im working on a very exciting post! hahhaah

recently i uncovered some old photo albums,
and found tonsa little-me pictures
they are so amusing

looking at little-me and what i was doing then really triggers memories,
and motivates me to move forward in my Dreams for the Future.

if i had such huge dreams as a little girl,
why cant i have them now.

im Inspired by Little Rachel,
and i know that somewhere in this grown up one,
the little girl is dying to breakfree

i learn more about myself every single day!

so keep watching this space,
it Will be an intriguing yet smile-inducing post,
i ensure you
:)

xoxo,R

In Deep Thoughts..

2009-06-02T00:20:00.000+08:00

So i guess you all have heard about the classic bible story of Adam and Eve;
if not you can check it out here : Genesis 2

And if youve read that,
you'd probably have heard about what happened in the Garden of Eden.
If not you can check it out here : Genesis 3

Very often, we hear about how The Fall of Man came about ;
Serpent tempting Eve,
Eve taking a bite of the Forbidden Fruit [note: It was not stated that it was an Apple lol, i grew up believing it was an Apple, but i was corrected last year]
Then Giving a bite to her husband, Adam.

I was just reading Genesis all over again,
This time, i wasnt just reading, but i was picturing it all.
The creation of the universe and the garden and all..
THEN, something strucked me.

okay here it says:
Gen 3:6 [biblegateway NKJV]
''The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.''
DID YOU JUST UNDERSTAND THAT?

'Then she gave some to her husband, WHO WAS WITH HER(emphasis), and he ate it, too.''

Was Adam there the whole time?
Was he standing right next to his wife while the serpent tricked her?
Was he there, listening to every single word of that lie?

If he was -and there is a good reason to think so- then the big question hit me..
'WHY DIDNT HE SAY ANYTHING?'

I read through that verse for the most number of times i can ever imagine.
He was there?!?! How can that be, Why didnt he stop her?
I did some research and made sure it wasnt a translation/bible version mismatch.
but as i thought so, NIV, NKJV, NLT all wrote : '... who was with her ...'

Before God created Eve, he had already commanded Adam to never eat from a certain tree.
So Adam was expected to pass on the prohibition to his wife when she appeared on the scene. We assume he did so.

But when the serpent struck up a conversation with Eve designed to muddle her thinking about God's goodness, Adam [who was there, according to the Word] said nothing. Yet he was listening to every word! He heard Eve misquote the command of God that he, Adam, had carefully communicated to her.

He was there watching when she began looking at the forbidden tree.
He saw her take a step toward the tree and reach out to pluck some of its fruit.
And he didnt do a thing or say one word to stop her.
Adam remained silent! Why?

Remember, Eve was deceived by the snake, but Adam wasnt.
1 tim 2:14 says:
''And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.''
So that means he knew what was going on.

Perhaps he should have said , ''Now, wait just one minute here! Honey, this snake is up to no good. I can see right through his devilish cunning tricks. He's deceiving you into thinking you have more to gain from disobeying God than by remaining faithful to him. That's a lie!
My beautiful wife, let me tell you exactly what God said to me before he made you. And look around us, This is Paradise. God made it and gave it all to us. We have no reason to doubt his goodness.''
and then perhaps he could have look at the serpent in the eye,
and say 'Snake, this conversation is over, TAKE OFF!'

Or something along that line. If you know what i mean..

But Adam said nothing.
He stood there, heard and watched the whole thing, and didnt say a word.
He failed his woman.
He failed, in his first spiritual struggle, to represent God.
He failed, as a man.

So was it really the Womans' fault for being decieved [what we're normally told]
or the Mans' for not speaking up and taking ownership,
or maybe both?

And then another question hit me..
So the Man got punished to toil hard and work for the rest of his life.
But the Woman had to be put through dangerous, tormenting pains of childbirth,
and her 'desire to be for (her) husband' and 'to be ruled over by him'.

Personally I think, the Woman got it more harsh?
I mean, look, women nowadays are working as hard (or even harder) than men.
(and we still have to have that crazy whacked monthly thing. cough)

And while the wife goes through morning sickness, tummy-kicks, PMS, moodswings, and what not.. the husband goes on flights overseas on business trips, perhaps hit the golf course, drop by the pub to attend to clients?

i know, you must be thinking 'why does it even matter' 'whats happened, happened'

i dont know about you,
BUT..
I need to know Why.

Explanations anyone?

xoxo,R
p.s: wow its 1.06 am now.
p.p.s: imy,I

peekchas! + moree

2009-06-01T10:40:00.006+08:00

cause i love, and im loved.

p.s: i just found my external hard-drive with all my pictures in it.
guess what jems ive found this time...
1st ever picture i had with felicia (thats 6 years ago)
pictures from Perth with the Dancers (thats 5 years ago)
tonsa BFFS [jyings fels mels and myself] pictures
pictures from Melacca trip with jiaen jyings fels
and my fav : all the pictures irwin and i took while on our photoescapade like a year ago!
- catching the sun (before it rised and set)
- sentosa
- downtown east
- punggol beach
- vivo
- 40storeys @ toapayoh
- kiddy pictures
- ceds' fyp
- aiport
i thought i lost them all, what a pleasant surprise!
i had a nice time browsing through them and ticking my memory:}

maybe i'll drop some of them here sometime soon;

im off to meet mels now,
and sushi dinner with le en tonight! (to satisfy her craving hahaha)

i<3,
and im <3ed.

Definitions of bliss:
a state of extreme happiness

im in a state of Extreme Bliss!

xoxo,R

before you gooo

2009-06-01T01:00:00.003+08:00

Your To-Do-List:

1)enjoy your 7hour-journey there (sleep-off/munch on gummies in case of motion sickness lol)
2)Take pretty pictures;
3) Have tonsa good food;
4) be the best-looking dude at the wedding (besides the groom lol);
5) watch Sunrise, capture it and bring it back!;
6) check out the cultural sites around
7) go shopping!;
8) have a goooooood time with your family (dont call your brother a fatty and dont call your sister crazy);
9) Take care of yourself!;
10) Have Funnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

p.s: dont forget to check that 'surprise message video' i put in your phone (when you misss me, and i know you already do hahahaha)

p.p.s: Use HandSanitizerrr; stay clean please!

p.p.p.s: *stares and gives you The Eye* Dont even try..... (you know What im talking about)

p.p.p.p.s: Sorry i cant come along :( as much as we'd like to, i cant.. i'll be having fun with all the events im up to though, so dont worry:)

Lastly,
i miss you already:)
catcha in a weeeek

<3 <3 <3

xoxo,R

that jittery feeling

2009-05-27T20:34:00.002+08:00

oh im feeling jitters in my tummy.
and its cause im missing somebody;

no prizes for guessing the correct answer ;)

xoxo,R

Future!

2009-05-26T00:29:00.002+08:00

Recently, ive been having alot of dreams and goals.
All of which i'll hopefully achieve by their own respective times.
im learning to Protect my Dreams,
so it wont be jeopardized.

i must learn to censor what i tell people.
not get too excited and let out everything.
i must watch over what i expect to bring production in the future.

i must protect what i expect.

xoxo,R

ah shucks

2009-05-25T13:59:00.002+08:00

hair-pulling projects to finish up.
mad deadlines.
mad work.

gotta fight.
if i wanna climb up that ladder.
dont let go rachel.
fightfightfight!

xoxo,R

PICDATES (picture-updates)

2009-05-23T00:52:00.009+08:00

Hello World!
ive been running here and there, everyday.
from morn to night(and its tiring, but nvm!)
heres life(not in dated order):

Tennis, Swims, Jogs, work outs with the bffs :

Arts Fest, day 1 with Jyings and Liss @ Marina Barrage:

Helios 2
La Compagnie Malabar (France)

Arts Fest, Day 2 with Jyings @ Ngee Ann City Orchard:

The Glittering Bestiary
La Compagnie Malabar (France)

Working; Singapore Youth Festival :

Arts Project Photoshoot with Mels [model-May]
(Not allowed to put the shots up here, but here are the post-shoot photos of us with our model):

Sneak Peak to Mays' shoot (not official pictures, these are the trials):

Once again, not allowed to post the 2nd photoshoot;
of Trena Madeline Stacey
so these are the candids (fixing camera properties):

Then Life with Irwin:

So there you have it!
obviously i dont have pictures of everything im up to,
but hey, at least i tried! :)
Lotsa awesome stuff coming up,
im so psyched!

so till later,

xoxo, R

reflect

2009-05-19T23:24:00.003+08:00

its almost june,
thats half a year passing by.

its been tough,
you tell yourself its a small issue and brush it aside.
you tell yourself to look at those who're going through more, and be thankful.
but its really tough.

do you rush through all your days.
only to find yourself coming home to feel lost,empty,dazed.
all that feeling of accomplishment, all gone?
embracing it all, yet you have Nothing.

seating on the cold floor of your room,
thinking where youve gone wrong.
they said success brings happiness.
where's your happiness then?

youre tired, upset and frustrated.
banging on the hard walls.
do walls hear?
can anyone hear you? anyone, anything?

heart wrenching,
your breath speeds up,
you feel something in your throat.
oh tears welling up in your eyes..

you blame the songs on the radio,
playing in the background.

you pick up your phone and stare at the screen,
praying and hoping someone would call.
anyone.
ask you how youre doing
tell you a joke
anyone?

closing your eyes
you try to speak
youre choking on your words
with tears still streaming down your cheeks

youre tired.
really tired.
from all these.
but most importantly,
youre tired,
from yourself.
your old, stubborn, emotional self.
------------------------------------------------------

the talks ive had with a few people recently have been really,
awakening, mind-twisting, heart-pounding and revelational.

i miss the aroma of your presence.
help me get back,
back to you.

i miss you daddy.

xoxo,R

i-cannot-believe-i-did-that Moment

2009-05-13T12:32:00.002+08:00

zomg.
i cannot believe i just cancelled on my boss,
thinking ive made the right choice,
only to be blown off later by someone else.

what are you doing, rachel..

a price to pay. a huge price to pay;
i hope i didnt lose anything other than time, and a tad of impression.

thankgod ive got I to rant to.

xoxo,R

fast one!

2009-05-11T18:14:00.002+08:00

kay, ive decided to update a quick one before i fly off to my meetings!

Lots of cool assignments coming up,
im so psyched about them!
like finally im starting to see some solid future in what im doing, if you know what i mean.

thank you for your overwhelming responses,
concerning the performers that i was looking out for.
deals done, and now we're just finalizing the foundations before we start flying.
p.s: some of you have asked about the sales of tickets. They are not available yet,
but you can leave your names and contact numbers in my mailbox, and i'll personally contact you when theyre out!

thanks again people!
have been receiving alot of encouragements and motivating mails from you guys.
you guys make my dreams soar [and roar haha]!

and thank you Daddy for always giving me the best :}

so a picture before i go off :

xoxo,R

oh!

2009-05-11T00:37:00.002+08:00

its 1240am, 11th may.
so im technically 2 days late.
but its still worth the record;

<3

nothing beats waking up to your smile.

xoxo,R
p.s: ive been updating so irregularly. maybe soon, sometime..

ATTENTION!

2009-04-28T20:06:00.003+08:00

CALLING ALL ASPIRING PERFORMERS/PROFESSIONAL PERFORMERS:

A COMPANY IS HIRING AND RECRUITING NOW FOR A LARGE-SCALE MUSICAL HAPPENING IN AUGUST.

NO STRINGS ATTACHED, ONLY COMMITTED TO ONE PERFORMANCE.

Musical will be held at the Singapore Expo Hall 2 or 5.

LOOKING FOR ACTORS/COMEDIANS/SINGERS/DANCERS/any form of performing art.

THERE WILL BE AUDITIONS AND INTERVIEWS HELD.

p.s: Enlisted Performers will be notified. The company will be sponsoring them with vocal/drama/dance classes during the practices.

PLEASE INSTANT MESSAGE ME FOR MORE DETAILS!

or email me NOW at : rach.el91@hotmail.com

[those with my cellphone number can just give me a ring]

ASAP PEOPLE!

xoxo,R

:)

2009-04-25T23:35:00.008+08:00

Here's Life with I <3
They say pictures speak a thousand words,
so i'll leave it to the pictures to do my talking.
This pictures are from ceds' fyp filming anyway;
ages ago, like a year ago.
[yes we look pretty different now, hahahah]

check out I's funky long hair zomg he looks like a girl hahaheheho nvm
p.s: More pictures some time soon

heres a final recent one to do him some justice; looking awesome aye? :)

xoxo,R

same old;

2009-04-22T23:18:00.002+08:00

hahah just recalled the mimic that my workmate did,
of this Slovenian judge at the syf [who is abit, haywire]
gosh, epic.

its 1130pm now.
work tmr again at 745 @victoriatheater. wowow.
gotta pull myself out of bed [more like throw myself off bed, onto the floor to get up]

ah,
cant wait to go into more events management jobs, esp in the Arts.
trying to fit as many in, before school reopens again in July.

oh yes, i had an insane dinner at sakaes' with I just now.
those crazy buffets where you feeel like throwing everything up after.
hahahah
madness i tell you.

-
its all about Balance.
balancing your time.
balancing yous capacity.
balancing your emotions.
i need to find that balance again.

xoxo,R
p.s to you-know-who-you-are: sorry for being angryannoyedjealousupset. i really let it go, Now.
[just remember to inform me next time]

-

2009-04-22T11:49:00.002+08:00

yesterday was a really rough day.
tough-to-handle conductors make life really horrible.
specifically this conductor who takes 5 schools and has a surname of Liew.
i will not mention his name here,
so as to protect his identity.
good luck to you though, we've reported to the MOE-officials.
as what we always say 'Pinalise pinalise pinalise!' hahah

working 8-5 everyday at victoria theater,
and listening to the set-piece song : White Horses [which all the schools has to sing]
is really driving me crazy.
the music rings in my head even when im out of the tuning room.

i think the best part of yesterday's work was the last school going on stage,
and me slumping into one of those old chairs backstage.
one of those 'phew its over! finally!' feelings. yknow.

caught May too,
congrats on your school getting silver!
:)

so that aside,
managed to catch a movie with Irwin last night.
yay.

more updates sooonish

xoxo,R

WORK!

2009-04-20T19:39:00.002+08:00

[ walkie-talkieeeeee. roger that! ]

had work today!
consisted of clipboards, uniforms, crew/supervisor/stage-manager tags,
walkie-talkies, a bunch of new friends and 293870954 secondary school choir kids.
hahaha

working for the Singapore Youth Festival,
over at Victoria Theater [concerthall]
IS TOTALLY AWESOME.

i was going through my list of schools,
and suddenly remembered a few friends who were from some schools.
tomorrow i'll be seeing May [from regent sec]!
All the best for syf! :}

everythings' great except the food they cartered for us.
omg. i was asked to rate the food by my other crew mates,
and i was like 2/10.
i think the way they packaged it is like better than the quality of the food itself.

we couldnt take it,
so i decided calling delivery for everyone instead hahahah

anyway, im wishing i'll get switched over to the SYF at RP's Arts Hall next week,
so i get to have lunch and dinner with lovely Irwin.
PLUS, RPs' venue is incharge of Dance! [omg!]

i'll update more when i feel like it;

xoxo,R

sneak-peek!

2009-04-16T01:06:00.002+08:00

Keppel Bay Picnic;
more pictures to come soon:}

thought it through.
not worth losing One thing that means Everything,
over everything that means nothing.
did you catch that?

wherever im placed,
im ready to keep going on.
whatever thats given,
i'll cherish.
and whats gone,
i'll learn and ammend.

cause youve only got that much time.
whether you use it fully or not,
that much is that much;

im not wasting another second.
how bout you?

xoxo,R
p.s: Today, i wrote 3 wishes about Family on a blank piece of paper. Soon, i'll see them come to past. i know, i will.

what do we have here'

2009-04-09T01:58:00.001+08:00

oh, look at the date :}
more to come.
ilu,i.

xoxo,R

<3

2009-04-08T01:06:00.001+08:00

seeing you over the webcam puts a smile on my face.

xoxo,R

senseless/

2009-04-07T21:37:00.002+08:00

recently,
someone told me 'the truth hurts. get over it'

and i thought,
how can it hurt if the truth is,
The only Truth.

someone told me 'love is a waste of time. love sucks'

and i thought,
how can it suck if love is,
The only Love.

foolishness.
how we complicate the simple Truth of Love,
with our own warped perception of Truth and Love.

;

the alarm goes on,
its 6.45am again,
another monday morning again.
life goes on for him.

out of bed,
into the showers,
another start of the day.
life goes on for him.

downs his breakfast,
tightens his tie,
another new suit, new shoes, new bag.
life goes on for him.

into his latest buy, a new car,
tunes up the radio to the news,
another rush hour again.
life goes on for him.

cars, traffic lights,
another jam,
yet another possibly late-for-work-morning.
life goes on for him.

into the swinging office doors,
coffee, work, files, coffee.
another draggy day at work.
life goes on for him.

then its back into the car,
back home, back into facing the same four walls.
another same old, same old.
life goes on for him.

life goes on,
or so he thinks.

Life?
whatever happened.
;

xoxo,R
p.s: still on the tracks; dont drop the baton.

Running with your fire;

2009-03-23T01:31:00.002+08:00

The time is Now,
yesterday is already over,
and tomorrow has yet to come.

Dont choose to change tomorrow,
cause you'll never know whats to come between the hours of Now and Then.
And dont blame yourself for not changing yesterday,
for there is no good in dwelling over spoilt milk.

Let the Now be of the Now,
and let it be good.

its time,
time to run with the fire;

Running after You

XOXO,r

2009-03-22T02:01:00.005+08:00

P.S : switch off my blog song on the left column;

Daddy,
i never want to be apart from you.
im sorry i keep sliding away,
in my thoughts, in my actions.
draw me closer,
teach me to put you first in all i do.
switch on the tab in my heart,
let me run with such fire,
that nothing can put it out.
nothing will make it flicker,
but it'll shine so brightly,
that all the earth will see,
you are King.
you are the one and only.

nearer, closer, to you.

i pray;

Matthew West - More

Take a look at the mountains
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of Me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am

And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to Me

And I want you to know
That I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone

And I see you
And I made you
And I love you more than you can imagine
More than you can fathom
I love you more than the sun
And you shine for me

xoxo,R

xoxo

2009-03-21T00:47:00.002+08:00

A simple verse or two,
written just for you.
Nothing fancy,
no big words used,
just to say that its true,
yes yes, its all you.

you leave me shivering in delight,
you make this walk all so bright,
you breathe love into this chapter,
its like a Happily ever after.

no words, or poems can do this justice.
so just hear the story from my heart,
and youll know its true.
its all, its all, its all for you.

xoxo,R

Keys are meant to be left in your pockets.

2009-03-19T17:22:00.006+08:00

p.s: i typed this on Notepad, and just 'copy and pasted' it here

Thursday; 5.03 pm

Exhuasted from the day,
dragging my feet a few more steps to the door,
oh home!
Finally, almost, home.

Take off my shoes,
reach into the pocket of my backpack.
oh wait. where is it?
Where are my keys?

Not in the front pocket,
nor the sides.
desperation.
Where are they?

Search once,
then twice,
then a couple more just to be sure.
This cannot be happening.

Finally giving in,
oh what a fool.
where can those keys be?
Definitely not with me, not now at least.

A cloud of lethargy reigns over my head.
just a gate away from comfort,
just a key away from sleep.
Why didnt i check before i leave?

note to self : Check ive brought my keys with me, every time i leave the house.

But thank god i brought Princess [my pink vaio laptop] out with me,
else i'd probably be like really really bored.

so now, here i am, just waiting for someone to come home,
oh anyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

oh well.
so much for a rested evening.

xoxo,R

bffs;

2009-03-13T01:24:00.004+08:00

Today, i thank God for best friends.

They are the ones who stand by you,
not just by appearance, but by heart, mind and soul.
Love is self-sacrificial.

They are the ones who jump in excitement,
when you tell them a piece of good news about yourself;
they are never jealous.
Love is never jealous.

They are the ones who you can pour your heart out to,
without being afraid of being judged.
Love is not judgemental.

They are the ones who wait on you to express yourself,
there is never a rush.
Love is patient.

They are the ones who accept your flaws,
and rejoice in your strengths.
Love is accepting.

They are the ones who encourage you,
and pull you up.
they share your burdens with you.
Love is not self-seeking.

And even though you might only speak to each other once in a long while,
there are no gaps, no awkwardness, no emptiness.
Love is Whole.

and if God is Love.
and God Loves People,
then People are Love.

----------------------------

i had a nice night with bffs;
sat by the poolside past midnight,
sharing, catching up.
just like the old times.
5 years go past so quickly..

<3

xoxo,R

been a while!

2009-03-12T01:26:00.003+08:00

yes, your eyes are not playing tricks on you.
ive changed the whole layout;
was getting pretty sick of seeing my totally pink weblog -surprisingly

ive been getting pressed to update this, so there you go!

honestly, i dont know where to begin.
all i can say is,
this is going be be extremely exciting.

fyi, princess [my pink vaio] is down!
its been almost 2 weeks ish.
so im left with my acer.
yes, all my pictures and songs and chords ive done are gone.

for the most recent updates;
you should just ask me when you catch me around!

xoxo,R
p.s: proper updates real soon!

writers' bloc

2009-02-26T10:48:00.002+08:00

having one of those above [title]
probably why i need to start dancing again.
-
have you ever wondered what youre good at,
and why some people just get more opportunities than you?

have you ever wondered why if everyone was equal,
you arent getting that fair chance to prove yourself?

have you ever wondered what if youre good at everything,
but best at none?
dont they say : 'theres no point being a Jack of all trades, but Ace of none'?

then again,
maybe opportunities dont knock on your door all the time,
and sometimes, youve just gotta barge your way in.
dont they say : 'come and get it, if you want it?' too?

then again,
its not all about Talent.
its not all about you.
or rather,
it was never meant to be about you.

maybe if you re-direct your goal,
your path will direct itself there.

probably;
but definitely worth a try.

we're all trying to get there anyway,
arent we?

i dont know,
i was just wondering...

xoxo,R